Inside I'm screaming 'I love you'

Thursday, October 13, 2005

I dreamt of you last night.

I don't know what to say to make myself feel better. Yeah I keep saying don't bother, don't worry about me. But deep inside I do know I want you to care, to bother & worry. I feel sucha bitch saying this. Yeah I know you miss her, you want her back. :\ Go for it, nods. It's your happiness. Don't keep trying to use words to make me give up or whatsoever. It's making me better, it's making me worst than ever. Yeah right you'll never leave, you'll never let that day happen. Forget it lah. Saying that you'll always be there, I can always confide anything in you. These are all crap & rubbish & lies. Thankyou fatassliar. Take it that I'm a fool, fooled by your sweet nothings time & time again. Better off without me? Sure, go ahead. I don't ask for more, I didn't even expect you to do anything or whatever fuck. Stay with me, be another her. She left & I don't know what to do, you came in. Yeah go on & say it's another replacement shit. But no, you're another her. Exactly, promises here & there but you'll never do it. If you think this is doing the both of us good, I'm sorry but no. It's not. I'm dying, tearing, crying on the inside & smiling on the outside. To you, that is. Friends are more important, yeah this I know. To you that has never changed. I'm tired, sick & tired. You always say this but you're doing that. C'mon, I'm not born yesterday or whatever fuck. Thanks for acting like you cared. Thanks for ignoring the shit outta me. Thank you, Nods.

~~We can forget about making brownies.~~
We can forget about the M1 card.
We can forget about the movie I wanan give.
We can forget about the 'thankyous' I wanna give.
We can forget about the drawing I wanan give.
We can forget about the anniversary.

Forget it, I'm fucked up.
I'm sick & tired, do I have to repeat?

I haven't seen the happier side of me for ages. =\

RANDOM ENTRY, YOU CAN IGNORE THE WHOLE CHUNK OF RUBBISH UP THERE. & COMMENT LEH! :\ TSK. I'LL REPLY MAYBE TONIGHT? OR LATER. :D

; stick with you